Tuesday, 29 January 2013

it's the freakiest show

today was the first day of school.

it was rather medioca.

People hugged, I got the bottom locker. I zoned out in assembly and imagined myself singing rebel grrrl on stage instead of the year 12 performing Turning Tables by Adele. As I shuffled into the hall I wondered if anyone knew who the Smiths were. Anyone out of the extraordinary mass of people. I wasn't trying to be "I'm better than you cause I'm oh so indie." I was legitimentally wondering, because when you go on the internet and find a trillion billion gazillion people who love the Smiths and don't like calling people sluts you start to believe normal life is like that. 

so far, I have found that it isn't.

I know this is super duper rude, but I always wonder if I am going to find a group of people who are kind of like me and it will be like in the movies where we can't bear to be apart for more than a weekend. 

That sounds super rude and snobbby and rude. But it is honestly what I am trying to figure out. I fit in at school, most people think I am funny and super duper cute and indie and weird. But I wonder if I will ever feel that need to see someone. If I will ever desperately crave talking to someone, and if we will be like those friend crush people you see on Rookie.

That is all.

Here is the outfit I wore on the last day of holidays. I watched Glee, oh so much Glee. It was awesome. I wanted to go to an American high school, I know you will all say they are not like in the movies. But at least there it would seem kind of tragically romantic if you don't have any friends.

okay, it sounds like I am being really dramatic and making it sound like I have no friends. I do, I just feel kind of.......... lonely in a nonloner, I actually have lovely friends way. 

 sorry, they are upside down, my brain does not care at the moment.

okay, I had this idea. Since I am aiming to not care what people think, I thought of something:

In my school and probably every school ever in the word, the boys kind of have the authority. I know, I know what you're thinking :"But Carla, you just described what feminism is trying to change." Well, I know I did, but I think one of the problems is that even though loads of girls are really into being strong and awesome, loads of boys probably have no idea what feminism even is.

BRO, I am serious, I don't know about you, but in my school some of the boys are really not the sharpest knives in the drawer. I know that is unfair to say, there are some boys who are awesome and nice and not, well lets say it, COMPLETE GORILLAS.

Every week year nine is having a meeting and apparenlty the students are allowed to kind of do whatever they want there. Like singing or poetry or short films. So, If I got the courage and maybe like a cape or something, I could make a super super simple slide show thing and talk about what feminsim and riot grrrl and not shaving armpits is.

Because, frankly I am convinced some of the boys just honestly don't know that we are not there to be there gorgeous back up dancers.

I don't know, I probably won't ever do that, I will probably just think about it a lot. Some of my friends don't even know about feminism, and that makes me sad a little bit.

jeans- embellished by me.
SUPER AWESOME SLIGHTLY GANGSTA, BUT SOMEHOW SHERLOCK HOLMESISH AT THE SAME TIME JACKET: the night markets. The lady said it was second hand all the way from America, where dreams come true. (sparkle noises.)

please comment on what you think. I know I am being annoying. But I would love the sweet people of the internet's opinion. I am sorry this post  is super disjointed and blah.


ps: the vegetarian rage song is coming along nicely. Also thinking about singing that in assembly.

Monday, 21 January 2013

my world is turning pages, while I'm just sitting here.


I just finished reading the Fault in Our Stars. i was crying from about page 222 till the end. I kept making all these gross facial expressions and doing weird stuff with my lips because it just seemed appropriate considering how COMPLETELY TRAGIC it was.

I also saw Les Miserables (said in a devilish french accent.) I find it hilarious how people always correct others ignorant to the marvellousness when they say :"Les Miserables" instead of "Lay Mis-er-rabjdkfhdkfuwf."

It's Leviosa, not leviosahhh.

Anyway, life has left me quite content lately. Even though my new school books arrived the other day, which is like this sign that it is mandatory to start FREAKING OUT and perhaps throwing hard objects and cats at the TV when it advertises Back to School Sales. It is acceptable to at lest consider blowing up the TV when it advertises BACK 2 SCHOOL SALES.

MY plan for surviving school this year is to listen to that Breakfast Club playlist, pretending I am Molly Ringwald, watching this video and faking sick days.

anyway, here are two outfits:

 I glued eyeballs onto my socks.

while I was taking these my brother was practicing the harmonica. We plan to start a band called "CELESTIAL EYEBROW" it shall be awesome, and the genre is physchadelic folk. kind of like Tame Impala mixed with Mumford and Sons and tiny bit of Vegetarian rage (not a band, a genre we made up.)


Grimes interview from Yen on my wall, yes, i ripped it straight out of the magazine, rebellious, no? No.

I look extremely scared here, self timers intimidate me immensely. 

what I am wearing:

dress-Harry Wragg-vintage
socks-Mum's, but since I "destroyed/beautified" them they are now MINE!!


shirt-cotton on
tights-some market

So, I hope you have a ravishing day.

Friday, 18 January 2013

oh, AND I reached 100 followers. Thanks Antonia for pointing that out.

HURRAH for me!

wilted and faded, somewhere in Hollywood.


so, I last left you with my inspiring moves to an eighties classic. Since then I have:

  • Read loads of posts on Tavi's blog from when she was my age.
  • Searched for cool Doc Martens that don't cost a bagillion dollars and fit my teeny, majorly annoying foot. 
  • watched glee
  • practiced my Italian mafia voice
  • wished i was in Glee
  • written about contortionists in 24 hour diners
  • read Archie 
  • had a sudden urge to be a geography teacher/science teacher in some high school in the 70's. 
  • danced around in my undies to Celebrity Skin.
Here's what's been inspiring me lately.

for some odd reason it is this weird mix of dinosaurs, geography teachers, the jungle, the desert, national geographic, agent 99 and glinda the good witch.

Here is a magazine type thing I have started to make that revolves around this theme I have in my head. I am trying to get my brother to contribute something. I'm don't think i will make this an online thing where people can submit stuff, even though that's cool. But I really like the idea of getting people who live around me to contribute something, but as far as I'm concerned there is no one that cool where i live.

That sounds bratty and insensitive of me, but it's what I think.

   AND here is an outfit, it kind of started by mood of geography teachers and dinosaurs. And then it kind of grew into more jungleish and desertish exploration nature type stuff.

flower crown-made by me
bow-made by me
dinosaur necklace- made by me
cat dress (my brother says it looks like possums) - Salvation Army , by far the coolest thing I have found i my local salvos, I would like to meet whoever it belonged to.
bracelets-childhood tackiness
book- scored from my cousin, too special to use for school. I will use it as a writing book. 

I am going on choir camp tomorrow, wish me luck with some intensive singing. I will only be gone for a day.


ps: I bought this wicked sick awesome lunchbox on etsy and I will use it for school. Since we have uniforms, one's lunchbox is one of the few measly glimmers of hope for self expression and coolness.

I will show it here soon.

Monday, 14 January 2013

and the new song that we heard on the radio, is just a melody lost in time.


As promised, here is a video of me dancing to a little bit of "don't you forget about me." by Simple Minds. Which was basically the theme song of the Breakfast Club.

I would have made it longer, but I thought the grooooovy moves and passionate lip syncing would be too intense for some of you. 

and also, it was too big to mail to myself.

So, without further ado, here it is.................

okay, some ado, just letting you know I am not being serious here, not matter how believable my facial expressions. 



wasn't that........ exciting.

also, for you deeper beings, who are not entertained immensely by groin thrusts and spirit fingers, here is something I wrote today. yes ladies and gentlemen, in between intense zumba classes, I do enjoy some simple poem writing.

tits my new years resolution to write every day, I am going off this list i found on the big, wide, world of the internet. Todays topic was MUSIC.

I was lazy, so its short.....

I woke up to the sound of music.
Melodies curling inside my ears.
Swirling voices trickling like urine down a wall.
Incomprehensible lyrics, incoherent babble, the most beautiful babble possible.
The high notes we like coloured streamers careening in the sky.
The low notes, silky moles burrowing through the earth.
Everything soared like a pyramid rising from the dirt.
It fastigated to such an inconceivable height of beauty and Utopian perfection,
that it gave knocked God out of the sky and gave all the angels concussion.

LOOOOVE carla, your grroooovy friend.

Friday, 11 January 2013

don't you forget about me. don't don't don't don't.


sometimes I wish I lived in the eighties. everyone seemed to be pretty cool back then.

don't get me wrong, I have had a lot of fun in my existence is this era, but there is a kind of nagging thought at the veeeeeeeerrrry back of my mind. All these movies, they make me feel like I am not living the full teenage experience. I don't mean being popular, because I don't really mind about that. I mean being all independent and super fancy and going round to your friends house spontaneously and staying up all night. But, so far, I'm not really feeling it man. 

My worst fear in the world, besides probably swallowing a moth, is growing up and kind of missing out on being a teenager. In a way, I am a little bit like Charlie, from The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Except that I'm not, because even though he didn't "participate" for most of the book, his life was kind of romantic in  a way because of his super cool friends and his mix tapes and all that.

Also, most teenagers you read about and watch movies about hate their parents a little bit. It s almost like if you have no problems with your parents, you're kind of missing out on slamming the door and complaining to your friends about life and listening to angsty music. now, thats just stupid. I mean why would you change your life to make things worse for yourself, just to feel included??????

But, nevertheless, I cannot shake the horrible fear of not living alive enough, if you know what I mean. There is kind of a war between being happy and being happy and sad and angry and teenagerish, and it is pulling me apart. 

Anyway, this post is about the Breakfast Club. yes, yes, yes I have only seen it once, but what can i say, it changed my life forever. I won't go on about how the character were so relatable and all that. Because, honestly, they weren't. I mean, they would be to some people. But I can't relate to having pressure from your parents, or wanting to kill yourself, or your parents hating you or ignoring you. Or having no friends. 

BUT IT WAS STILL AWESOME!!!!!!!! i still wanted to be them, i still got a fuzzy feeling at the end. They are just the coolest kids. I know, i know its a movie. Maybe that's kind of the point, we all aspire to be like them, and think everyone else's lives are already like this, but maybe everyone else already thinks that. So really in the end, we are all feeling a bit weird and like we're missing out, but we just don't know everyone else is feeling that way.

There was this one magical day last week, where I dressed like a character from the Breakfast club. Kind of a bit rebel, but super cute all the same. My brother let me borrow his camera again (woo hoo) so I got some cool pictures. 

 on a completely unrelated note, here are some cd's I bought:

 I cannot explain how much I love it. I make me so sad and so happy at the same time. i know it is super cliche, and probably everyone goes through that bit where they're like "oh my god! Molly Ringwald is me, I am Molly Ringwald, no one has ever felt this way before, this movie is my life!!!!"

i only wish I could have seen it at the movies when it came out. i could ride there on my motorbike and wear a leather jacket and be listening to awesome music, not on my ipod, no no no, on my walkman!!!

Here is a shrine I made in my room. It is supposed to honour not only Molly Ringwald and the Breakfast Club, but all coming of age books and movies. 

I figure when school starts again, and I am feeling all yuck and scared about year nine, I will think about the 80's and know that if they survived this all, so can I. I will also get by on the though that 80's music was pretty bad, but it was pretty good too. 

A collage type thing I made:

A playlist I made, I know, I know, not all these songs are from the eighties. 
But I thought they all kind of captured the tumultuous experiences of teenagehood.

 I often have trouble properly writing down my feelings. So I hope you kind of got where I am coming from. 

Later, I will make a post and you can all see me dancing to "don't you forget about me." It will be pretty groovy. Just you kids wait:)

i'm off to watch pretty in pink.


ps; please tell me what you think about all this

Monday, 7 January 2013

hesitate to die, look around, around, the second drummer's drowned

today I went on a grand search for Doc martens. Because that is all I really want out of life, just to be a cool kid, with the fancy yellow kicks bro. I will probably end up getting mary janes though, just to be EVEN CUTER than I already am. Just because my shortness and freckles don't scream I'M SUCH A CUTIE, as loud as I would like.

But first, let me take you through the magical path I trekked across today whilst on the inspiring journey of getting dressed.

1. sing in shower. this motivates me....... not to embrace life and all its opportunities, no no no. Just to, you know, run away and jin the cast of wicked or something. todays songs: defying gravity and don't you forget about me.

2. travel to bedroom, where you are (usually) safe to walk around half naked and try on EVERY possible combination of clothes.

3. This step, is the rough patch. The chapter of the journey that is hard going. AND you are not sure if you will make it all the way through to the end of the book (that was a metaphor, aren't I a fancy pants in need of a stroke worthy beard.)  Yes indeed, step three is where you decide you have nothing interesting to wear, and you are just sitting there in your underwear, on the verge of a break down. And even youir underwear looks boring. And you are in grave danger of walking downstairs in a blanket, snivelling and ready to have a Glee marathon.

4. NEVER FEAR! step four is here. If you made it through step three and didn't give in to the tempting, tear worthy ballads of Finn and Rachel, their beckoning melodies so perfect, then you are ALMOST there. This is the most inspiring step. The bit that would have its own Oprah show.
This is where you glance across your wardrobe and see a beacon of light in the darkness. Perhaps, that one pair of socks. Their frills smelling of a bright future, their intricately woven wool singing sweet love songs to you.

5. Slowly, and rockily, you will manage to scrape together an outfit that doesn't make your mirror vomit and then bash you up.

6. The LOooooooooooooooooooooooongggggggg indesicive road down stairs and into the eyes of the public. Sure, you were safe in the santcuary of your bedroom, where you can sing bad 80's songs and no one really minds. It will take all of your willpower not to rush upstairs and throw on some jeans and a shirt that screams DO NOT NOTICE ME, I HAVE NOTHING COOL TO GIVE YOU. sure, that is fine somedays, when you feel like morphing into a couch potato, but sometimes you know you want to be a creative carrot and explode the world with your awesomeness.

7. I hope you had a meaningful journey. I bet you can't wait for tommorrow!!! Maybe, tommorrow you will decide to wear your pjyamas and give in to the inspiring, powerful and alltogether fist-pump-worthy sounds of "don't stop believing."

here is the outfit I wore today. I was feeling a tad moonrise kingdomy and just a little bit cute. Someone even asked me if I was a girl scout or something.

I used my brothers super duper fancy camera, which has a self timer so is pretty much the love of my life!
 hat- vintage, from my auntie's high school and apparently small cranium days
scarf-vintage market
t shirt- cotton on, forced to buy this from the mens section when I had to return some bras/tinsy scraps of material that squish everything up (if you know what I'm saying. YES CARLA, you scream, we know exactly what you're saying. Its Abby Road, in case you can't see.
badges- alien, i love NY and Maths Association of Victoria.
necklace- SHIRLEY! my dinosaur
skirt- market,
socks- cotton on.

 contrary to popular belief, I am not asleep, or trying to look asleep in this picture.

the book is from a second hand book market and it is from 1937


AND: here are some pictures of my room. That i recently cleaned, sooooo is should be looking quite acceptable, as there are not yet fake flowers and gross hot glue blobs everywhere.

my slightly creepy, but awesome cross.

 type writer and new york watercolour I did.


zines. I don't know if they count i made all of them except two. Please note: Antonia's AWESOME tavi gevinson zine, which I love very much.

NOW, what I listened to while writing this:

Please pleaase please stay tuned for a pretty awesome BREAKFAST CLUB post. I recently watched the movie and loved it and now want to be molly ringwald.


ps: also look three posts down, for some photos you can actually see.

pss: happy getting dressed.

psss: on thursday i am seeing a wonder woman/ riot grrrl/feminist movement exhibition! very exciting!